


Mikeyway, Toaster Defeater

by inoru_no_hoshi



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crack, Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-16
Updated: 2012-03-16
Packaged: 2017-11-02 00:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoru_no_hoshi/pseuds/inoru_no_hoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank used to think Mikey was relatively sane. Mikey owes him <em>so much</em> psychiatric care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mikeyway, Toaster Defeater

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt _Author's Choice, Author's Choice, "What do you mean it's a Haunted Toaster?"_ on [fic_promptly](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org).
> 
> (I still don't even know. My sole excuse is that the muse, zie smokes one hell of an impressive crack pipe sometimes.)

So Mikey has this thing about electronics. Mainly, he can't treat them like a normal person does. 

The cell phone may as well be surgically attached, Frank avoids Mikey's laptop like the plague because last time he went near it the screensaver was _laughing Skullbutt the Tormenter underwear_ and he really, really doesn't want to know, the coffee pot is psychically linked, hair dryers fry his poor brain - Frank can think of no other reason taking one into the shower seemed like a good idea to Mikey, seriously - and toasters— Well, there's a long and sordid history there, which apparently starts with elementary school-aged Mikey managing to set one on fire and culminates its current episode in the tableau before him.

To whit: the bread bag is open, bread scattered across the floor (some of it's actually toasted, too; what a fucking waste), Mikey's breathing hard and wielding a hammer (where the hell did he even _find_ it on the tour bus?), the toaster has two butter knifes, a fork, three spoons, and a steak knife sticking out of it, and is dented and smoking (but thankfully unplugged), and really, it's sheer morbid curiosity that makes him ask.

"Holy shit, Mikeyway, what the fuck did the poor thing ever do to you?"

"It wouldn't give me my toast," Mikey replies, and eyes the toaster like he wants to hit it again.

"So you... jabbed metal implements into it - please for the love of God tell me you unplugged it first - then beat the crap out of it?"

"Yes." Mikey shifts the hammer. "It still hasn't given me my toast."

Frank paused. "Why would that ever strike you as logical?"

"I'm pretty sure it's haunted," Mikey adds, like he didn't even hear.

Frank throws his hands up in the air, completely at a loss. "I never thought I'd say this, but Gerard is actually the more sane Waybro. Do you realise how much you now owe me in psychiatric care?" he asks indignantly. He doesn't wait for an answer, just adds, "Too fucking much!" before stalking out of the kitchen.

He is somehow _completely unsurprised_ to hear the crash of hammer-on-toaster once he leaves.


End file.
